5. The need to be in control
Closely related to the need to be certain is the need to be in control. In fact, isn’t that ultimately what the need for certainty is about? When you are certain—so long as you are not certain of utter disaster—you have more control over a situation.
Pretty often, that is really what we are hoping to find out when we are looking for certainty. We are hoping to find out for certain that we are in control of our destinies.
This need isn’t helped by a culture that perpetuates the myth of the “self-made person.” Here’s the truth: there is no such thing. None of us live in a vacuum, and all of us rely at times on other people or on circumstances going our way.
Nobody in the world makes it without luck on their side. You are not in control of 100% of what happens to you. The sooner you accept that, the sooner you can learn to create a healthier mindset in harmony with this fluid reality.