Why do so many of us struggle with self-loathing? Self-loathing is closely linked to insecurity: both are based in the belief that we do not deserve to be loved or to be happy. We learn self-loathing from all sorts of sources.
Maybe you were brought up by abusive parents, or perhaps the cultural messages you receive every day tell you that you are not a valued member of society. Maybe a string of bad relationships or failures in work have caused you to think you are the problem.
No matter what, though, self-loathing has never done anyone any good. If you have made bad choices, loathe those bad choices and decide never to make them again, but do not loathe the person you are now. That person deserves to be happy and to be loved, including by yourself.
28. Other peoples’ worldviews
Sometimes what gets to you isn’t just whether people like you or not—it is whether by their standards you are even good or not. It is all too easy to fall into the trap of believing that morality is an objectively established compass, and that someone else’s compass works the same way yours does.
But each of us is a unique individual, and someone else’s “right” could be your wrong or vice versa. Give yourself permission to be good and right according to your own worldview.
Someone else’s perspective may be sacred to them, but it does not have to be sacred to you. Live the truth that you know in your heart. Do not reject the happiness you have found just because someone else would.