25. The belief that someone else can make you happy
“I could just be happy if I met the right person.” “I would finally be happy if I won my parents’ approval.” “I’d be happy if people respected me and admired what I do.” These are all common thoughts, and they reflect a false belief about happiness, and that’s that it is something that other people can give us.
No one else’s love or approval is a substitute for your own. It is unfair to put all that on another person, both to yourself and to them. Only you can give yourself permission to be happy. If you cannot love yourself, you cannot truly love anyone else or appreciate the love that is given to you.
Other people can bring meaning and happiness into our lives, but it’s a prerequisite that you learn to depend on yourself first.
26. Let go of the lies you tell
Is there a lie that keeps you up at night? Maybe it’s that you are dissatisfied with your career or with your relationship. Maybe it’s the fact that you haven’t come out of the closet, or maybe it’s something you did to hurt someone you used to know, or perhaps it’s a lie you used to get ahead in the professional world.
Whatever that great lie is, let it go by telling someone you can trust. A secret shared is no longer a secret. Whether the truth you are concealing is a negative or a positive, it is easier to bear once you are no longer alone in it.
If it is a regret, you may finally be able to move on. If it is an inner truth you are not living, a desire you are not pursuing, maybe you will finally feel free to live it.